Loyet Family Odyssey

The drive to Basundhara was longer than before and I spent it thinking about Tarini and what she was about to experience. We were going to be taking her from all she has known for two years. I can’t even begin to imagine what it would feel like to be removed from my home and sent with people I didn’t know, who smell so strange and eat things and go places I never imagined. Not to mention the fact that they do not speak my native language and I only knew a few words of theirs. As I contemplated all of these things, I reminded myself that we needed to be sensitive to her needs and respect what she would be going through.

The gate to Basundhara is down a very narrow and curvy alley with people, cows, dogs and goats everywhere. Your mind is so focused on the people, and the swerving of the driver to avoid them, that the gate is all of a sudden upon you and you don’t quite remember how you got there. As we are ushered out of our car by our gracious and kind driver, I am overcome with the enormity of what the day’s events will bring. Our driver carries Benjamin through the gates as we gather the donations we have brought for the children’s home. We walk through the gates and hear the sounds of children coming from many directions. There are people in front of us and all of a sudden Tarini runs through them, looking directly in my eyes all the way and jumps into my arms. I cannot begin to tell you what an amazing feeling it is to have a little child, who had only met me the day before, run to me with such joy and purpose. God has surely orchestrated this little girl becoming part of our family and we continue to see evidence of this as each day passes.

Tarini is all legs and arms and she is wrapped around me like we have been mother and child for so much longer than the 24 hours since we have met. She loosens her grip and grabs my hand and we walk to the office to deliver our suitcases of donations. We are told that the gentleman necessary to finish our paperwork must leave for court and we are to wait in a family room. We are taken to the family room and get settled in. We are invited to eat lunch later in the day and while we wait we are greeted by many visitors. Different children stream in and out throughout the day and Tarini eagerly shows each new child her things as if for the first time. Older girls come and talk with us and we are treated when they ask if they can paint our nails. They ask what color we want and hurry off to retrieve it. When they return, all of our toes and fingernails are painted a brilliant shade of orange and our feet are adorned with traditional designs.
We enjoy a lovely visit with the nurse who works with the babies and children. She tells us of growing up at Basundhara and how her friends all went away to other countries through adoption. She receives letters and the occasional visit from them and it is so heartwarming to listen to her tell of the joy she feels when she hears from them.

Not long after the young lady leaves, lunch is served by three young ladies and Tarini’s house mother. The smells were amazing as they brought in tray after tray of delicious Indian dishes. Far more food than all of us could eat and we were disappointed that they would not eat with us. We were told that we were the guests and would be served. Coming from the Midwest and southeast, we are accustomed to casual dining and everyone eating together, family and friends. This was unfamiliar territory for us and we didn’t feel worthy of being served by these sweet young women who had worked for hours preparing the food. They did however stay and watch us eat, showing surprise when Benjamin didn’t want the bland food they insisted on preparing for him, but rather ate more spicy Indian food than Eric and I combined. We thanked our hosts for the lovely lunch, but thanks didn’t seem sufficient.

We waited for several hours and so our confinement to the family room did not last long with a 3 year old and a five year old. Benjamin convinced Grandma to take him to play with some ride-on toys and Tarini ushered me all over the complex. We greeted and chatted with so many people that day; I wish I could remember them all. Everyone was so warm and eager to talk to us and we felt so very welcomed by all.

It was approaching evening and we needed to head back to our hotel before dark. Eric decided to check on the ETA of Akshaya so that we could complete our paperwork. We were in luck; he was just arriving back from court. We had some small business to take care of, documents to sign and things to go over. Tarini said her goodbyes to Akshaya and we began the long process of leaving Basundhara.

Our last day in Orissa was spent enjoying the grounds of our hotel. We enjoyed the birds, the statues and the fountains. We even took a boat ride in the lagoon surrounding the resort. The kids enjoyed the boat ride but were unsure of the animal statues that were in the water. We ended our adventure with a haircut for Eric and Benjamin. And Grandma went to the spa and enjoyed the longest manicure on record and a haircut as well. I never got a second to relax but enjoyed spending the day with my two kiddos. We had lunch and then headed off to the airport for our late evening flight. We had lots of time to kill so we thought we would try to get Tarini's passport pictures for the embassy business. What ensued was a driving adventure all over Bhubaneswar trying to find a photo shop that would take the pictures. We had no problem finding lots of shops, but most of them had decided to "not work". Our driver said that they weren't working, just sitting in their shops, because they could or didn't feel like working. We were about to gice up as the rains started to pour down, but our driver, Hemanta, said that we were his guests and he insisted on making us happy. He went out in the rain to a few more shops and found one that would do it. After a few minutes, we had our pictures and were on our way to the airport. We had a short wait for our flight and then we were on our way to Delhi. The kids slept the entire flight and we drug ourselves into the hotel and crashed for the night.

The last few days have been incredibly busy finishing up the requirements to bring Tarini home. We arrived in Delhi Sunday night and went straight to the hotel and slept. First thing in the morning, Eric, Tarini and I went to the embassy to file our paperwork. We got there early and went through the first of many security checks. Everyone in Delhi is on high alert after the recent events and so cars are checked, bags are checked, and we are checked. At the embassy, if we bring water or snacks, we must take a sip or bite in front of the guards if we want to take them in.

We got in the line for US Citizens, we were the only ones, and proceeded to wait. After a while, Eric went to the next checkpoint to see if we could go in and was told he could but Tarini and I could not. They said we must wait "a long while". So we waited for hours, all the while confused as to why we were not allowed in to our own embassy. After some time, another couple joined us and their little girl immediately called out to Tarini. They had been at Basundhara together and knew each other. We had a lovely conversation and before long a guard came and took our names and birthdates. Then more waiting. :) After awhile we were all ushered by a guard on a long walk to a separate building. More security and waiting. Then we went to an office to file our paperwork and wait some more. We were told that the guard would take us to a particular window, but when he came he only took us to the door and told us to "go". Well, we had no idea where to go, but managed to find it anyway. More security and checks and we were finally after four hours of waiting in our own embassy. We quickly received more instructions and were told to come back in the morning at 9:15 for our visa interview.

We needed to go have a medical exam for Tarini's visa and so went on an adventure to find one open that would see us. Our driver did not understand us very well so communicating complex things was impossible. We finally got him to take us to a doctor that was open but on the other side of the city. On the way we stopped at a nearby doctor that was supposed to be closed and they were open. They agreed to see us that afternoon and we gathered all of the required documents and fees and waited some more. We spoke with a lovely couple we had met in Newark, they had picked their daughter up in Chennai. Turns out that they are living in St. Charles, Mo very near to where we are originally from, so it was a nice surpise. The doctor saw us and then we were on our way back to the hotel to rest.

As the afternoon wore on, Tarini seemed very uncomfortable and so we contacted our doctor at the International Adoption Clinic in Cincinnati. After much discusion, she surmised that Tarini was probably vomitting from the drainage from her respiratory infection and motion sickness. And was stuck in a vicious cycle. Tarini seemed to worsen as the evening wore on, and we had to change the sheets. The hotel staff suggested we try the on call doctor here and see if he could offer her any relief. We called him and he wanted us to take her to the hospital but we didn't want to subject her to that, so he came to us. At 5:30 in the morning, He examined her and we discussed her condition over the last few days. He agreed to give her an anti emetic and instructed us to give her small amounts of water and force food if necessary. Not exactly the best thing for bonding in the first week, but we wanted to do whatever was necessary to help her. She rested the remainder of the morning and then we took her down to breakfast. She had juice and plain bread and then we headed to the embassy to finish the processing.

There was a mixup with our driver, and so were running late, as we were about to get there on time, we discovered that they were paving the road in front of the embassy and we had to go around. We were able to jump out of the car and rush in, this time they let us in and we went to the appropriate window to finish up.

As we stood at the window, we caught our breaths and talked about the frenetic pace of the last day and a half. We were told to wait in the loby and our names would be called for the visa interview. While we were waiting the couple from MO arrived and after they filed we chatted awhile.

Over the loudspeaker we hear..."Tarini, please bring your parents to window 15" and we look at each other and smile. What a nice reminder in all of the chaos that our daughter is finally in our arms.

We walk to the window and begin our interview. The gentleman interviewing us asks several questions about our agencies, the process and how things went. Then, he asks us how our experience at the embassy was and if there was anything they could do to improve it. We told him of the day before and how we were not allowed in and were told very little and had to wait for hours. As we spoke, he stopped typing and looked at us and listened intently. After we finished, he started apologizing for the treatment and explained to us that it was unacceptable that we were not allowed into the embassy as American citizens. He wanted to know the who and whats specifically and told us that this would not stop at his window. He then proceeded to tell us that he had approved Tarini's visa and that he was going to have it printed and processed immediately so that we didn't have to "wait one minute longer". We then went into the US Citizens waiting area and sat down. We met a couple from Ft. Myers, FL who live in Jaipur India and are missionaries. They prayed for Tarini's healing and then before we knew it we were called to the window to receive Tarini's visa packet.

Our paperwork was rushed through so quickly, that we were ready to go before the dozen or so others in the room who were waiting before us. We were humbled after the events of the day before and felt so blessed to be walking out with her completed visa less than an hour before we arrived.

Sidenote...we have been carrying sick bags everywhere we go for Tarini and have been going through them rapidly. After we left the embassy, she didn't vomit again and when we returned to the hotel she laid down to rezt. After about half an hour, she perked up and was the same amazing little girl that she was the first two days she was with us. She has made an amazing recovery and we are so blessed by all of the prayers that everyone has said on her behalf. Thank you!

We are going to go to the Taj Mahal by train today and will post as soon as we can. We are off to Bangalore tomorrow to visit with friends and colleagues.

See you soon.

We are in Delhi and have been very busy with paperwork processing so this will be short and to the point. Despite being careful to keep Tarini's diet simple and consistent with what she was eating, she has been pretty ill today and is sleeping a lot. Hopefully it is just from the cold/virus drainage and will clear up as it does. Please keep her in your prayers; we hope to finish her visa processing in the morning and will continue to keep her days low key. Thankfully the rest of us are staying healthy, if not a little tired, and will be happy to get home and into a routine.